A person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection. Self-acceptance, an acceptance of one’s imperfections and weaknesses, is very difficult for perfectionists.
Life has many facets to it that we are expected to balance, and for a perfectionist like me this makes every day a bit of a nightmare.
In no particular order…
When we live in a world where perfect is perceived as the norm through the likes of social media and advertising, it can be immensely triggering for some people.
Rationally, I know that no one is perfect and that perfect doesn’t exist. I don’t expect every aspect of my life to be pristine, yet I can’t seem to shake the constant striving, to the detriment of my mental health.
I think a part of this comes from death. From experiencing someone so close to me lose their life before they achieved what they hoped they would have achieved. It made me realise that life is brutally finite, and there is SO much in my life that I want to achieve, and I am not a very patient person. So it stems from fear of living an unfulfilled life.
But a big part of it comes from me. Me and my type A personality and hyper-organized tendencies added to the cocktail of an anxious mind.
It also has something to do with the day we live in where excellence has become the norm. Where perfection is in our face wherever we look (I’m looking at you, Instagram). Average is just not good enough anymore because we are living two lives. We are living our actual, flawed lives, and our “look-at-me-and-my-filtered-staged-jetsetting” social media life.
The answer to this is is to just put your hands up and say fuck it. To just embrace the imperfections of life and of ourselves, our bodies, our careers, our families, our world.
I know that this is not easy and if anyone has the magic wand to just letting it all go, please contact me. But I have found ways of taking some of the edge off in day to day life.
The most rewarding being cleaning up my social media accounts. I wrote an entire post about this which you can find here if you want to read it. But in a nutshell, just go through your Instagram and Facebook accounts and unfollow/delete anyone, any business, any influencer (I hate that word) that makes you feel less “cool”, less important, less beautiful, less than good enough. Throw them in the trash and follow accounts that inspire, humour and make you feel good.
This as well as meditation, affirmations and educating myself on society has really helped me see through the bullshit. I still get caught up in it far too regularly, but to have a means of stepping away from it has been eye-opening.
I am sitting here, thinking of the perfect way to end this post and it’s making me anxious. How ironic is that? I am writing about the falsity of perfection yet am getting wound up trying to end this the right way.
So you know what? I am going to end it right here, like this. Excuse me for being abrupt and for the lack of a conclusion, but in the name of anti-perfection, it seems apt.